genozyber-astaroth

i feel like i've neglected my art to the point that i can't get it back... the perfectionist in me keeps saying its not good enough when i try for something new... and the writer in me keeps saying to focus on what's left that i might be marginally good at... maybe its the ever present depression that i try to pretend isn't there, maybe its just my being overly critical of what i do because i compare my work with other more talented people on here... i dunno but, i'm still gonna try to do what i can so that what talent i think i have doesn't stagnate and die any further than it has. 

i think i need to find my old dreams and hope that its not too late to try to help them grow just a bit to have something to work towards and not feel so lost. 

current mood: hollow/ waiting to be able to feel something again
listening to: cafe tacuba's "avientame"

aiya! gomenesai! i can't believe it's been so long since my last entry... you all probably thought i died or something.... well, bad news for some of you, i didn't die, so there!  *sticks tounge out*nyah!  

on other things though.... this month has started out bad.... i only have 4 dogs left when i used to have 8, and i'm beginning to think that a case of bad luck has fallen onto my family....
but not everything has been that bad.... dad's buisness is going really well right now and all the people who've owed him money have finally paid up *yay!*
plus, i've already finished 2 writing projects and have gotten really far on this one fanfic i've been working on....
artwork is getting alot better, hopefully will be able to get some of it scanned and posted on here, soon....
there are probably a million other things that i've forgotten to add but i just can't remember them right now.... oh well, maybe in the next one...
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aeons// [closest dearest friends]


sephiroth// [the worshipped]
:dev-ramenchan-: Divine-Star poncy-rogue pupukachoo zenphoenixa norli Jakuu asuka111 bw-inc celesse joodlez Kiwi-Twist kurot tomuyu

zephyr//[the watched]
MaxSterling Sieryu :dev-ramenchan-: Divine-Star poncy-rogue pupukachoo zenphoenixa giovannag Seraphically Seraphim-ZeroX solei Jakuu C-D lince ryo0oki Ryoku15 TeArFrOMaHeARtLesSSo tomuyu kurot Kiwi-Twist joodlez Jakuu celesse bw-inc asuka111

seraphim// [the watchers]
MaxSterling Sieryu tichondrius chomiryo Protector-chan ukesephiroth chibi-jen-hen koi-battousai bexa scorpioangel Divine-Star MatrixGirl Seraphically TeArFrOMaHeARtLesSSo

if I forgot anyone let me know

listening to: "brother" dark new day www.darknewday.com/home.html
current mood: reflective/passive/serenely happy

wow, time really flies whether you want it to or not..... only 2 more days and then i will be beginning another year of life.... somehow i feel as though i've changed somehow on the inside, but i don't know if it's been for the better or for the worse yet, although i haven't been able to help but feel completely at peace with myself... something i haven't been able to do for a very long time... but somehow i know that this change inside of me is just the beginning, like i'm on the brink of an awakening of sorts.... i can't explain it, but that's okay... i think i'm beginning to feel complete on the inside, happy and maybe, just maybe... normal.

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aeons// [closest dearest friends]


sephiroth// [the worshipped]
:dev-ramenchan-: Divine-Star poncy-rogue pupukachoo zenphoenixa norli Jakuu asuka111 bw-inc celesse joodlez Kiwi-Twist kurot tomuyu

zephyr//[the watched]
MaxSterling Sieryu :dev-ramenchan-: Divine-Star poncy-rogue pupukachoo zenphoenixa giovannag Seraphically Seraphim-ZeroX solei Jakuu C-D lince ryo0oki Ryoku15 TeArFrOMaHeARtLesSSo tomuyu kurot Kiwi-Twist joodlez Jakuu celesse bw-inc asuka111

seraphim// [the watchers]
MaxSterling Sieryu tichondrius chomiryo Protector-chan ukesephiroth chibi-jen-hen koi-battousai bexa scorpioangel Divine-Star MatrixGirl Seraphically TeArFrOMaHeARtLesSSo

if I forgot anyone let me know
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l' hardest d' decisions... ap'za's intervention xor mayoe fridj l' end result d' ussta dro... tlu truely lu' utterly maglust, natha ulin usstan tlun naut lorith foward ulu , drill xal tlu neccessary ka usstan tlun ulu remain guiltless d' ulin xusst xuninen, lu' vrine'winith l' compiling d'lil maunechen pholor ussta quortek. ol's vel'bol usstan rytho'le lu' mayoe worse... ussta apologize wun l' draeval p'los inbal fallen pholor deaf haren, ji nin usstan zhaun naut ulu bother d'ril usstan satiir 'zil though usstan z'klaen apologize whol ussta ramak uss vaen draeval p'los falling lu' belbaun sanrr ulu nindyn vel'ussa usstan inbal wronged ulu finally inbal natha sanrr ulu celebrate...

for translation go here:  www.grey-company.org/Maerdyn/r…
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aeons// [closest dearest friends]


sephiroth// [the worshipped]
:dev-ramenchan-: Divine-Star poncy-rogue pupukachoo zenphoenixa norli Jakuu asuka111 bw-inc celesse joodlez Kiwi-Twist kurot tomuyu

zephyr//[the watched]
MaxSterling Sieryu :dev-ramenchan-: Divine-Star poncy-rogue pupukachoo zenphoenixa giovannag Seraphically Seraphim-ZeroX solei Jakuu C-D lince ryo0oki Ryoku15 TeArFrOMaHeARtLesSSo tomuyu kurot Kiwi-Twist joodlez Jakuu celesse bw-inc asuka111

seraphim// [the watchers]
MaxSterling Sieryu tichondrius chomiryo Protector-chan ukesephiroth chibi-jen-hen koi-battousai bexa scorpioangel Divine-Star MatrixGirl Seraphically TeArFrOMaHeARtLesSSo

if I forgot anyone let me know
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' where but to think is to be full of sorrow
and leaden-eyed despair.'

'reprieve the doomed devil -
has he not died enough?'